Just Be Your S.E.L.F.* -- Your Guide to Improving Any Relationship

(*Self-governed, Ego-aware, Leading and Free)

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Do you have a S.E.L.F.? If you’re not yet Self-governed, Ego-aware, Leading in your life, and Free of self-imposed barriers, then it’s past time!

The developmental journey of your earliest years offered you the chance at seven gifts—emotional and social capacities essential for healthy adult relationships. Yet, many of us leave those valuable gifts behind. If your friendships, romances, and family ties are full of drama, pain, or distance, it may be time for some “developmental do-overs.”

As you retrace those first seven years now, you will find that the raw ores of these 7 Childhood Treasures—and your S.E.L.F.—still lie waiting for you to uncover them.

  • Learn how to trust, who to trust, and for what
  • Separate loved ones’ words and actions from your painful story about them
  • Let go of drama that is not about you
  • Be a leader of your own life, with the ultimate freedom of embracing your choice, power, and responsibility for who you are

Even if you had pretty good parents, who weren’t alcoholics or drug addicts, didn’t beat or berate you, and supported you in many ways, you may still struggle in relationships as an adult. The first seven years of a child's life are full of potholes and pitfalls for new, young parents who are, usually, stumbling through those years, nearly-blind. Small wonder that even well-intentioned and loving parents create accidental damage in the most high-impact relationships they will ever have – with their young children. 

Whether your parents traumatized or supported you, you may find that today’s relationships with them, or with your adult children, siblings, partner, friends, and coworkers are strained by silence, fighting, fear, or similar stresses. When you’re ready to release these struggles, it’s time to embrace the untapped potential in these connections with your friends and loved ones. 

Retrace the original developmental plan for your early years and start living today as your Self-governed, Ego-Aware, Leading, Free S.E.L.F.


Incorporating workbook features, Carol has baked her workshop tools and activities right into the pages of this groundbreaking book! As you read, you pause from time to time to reflect, write, imagine, and practice.

Familiar human technologies -- visualization and guided imagery, journaling, and physicalizing thoughts and emotions -- bring your personal developmental do-overs to life. All learning styles will revel in the diversity of tools. There is, literally, something for everyone!

No matter your age or the state of your relationships, this transformative book will open your mind and heart to new ways of living within those friendships, partnerships, and family ties. The untapped potential for joy and excitement in your life is about to be opened wide!

Just Be Your S.E.L.F. is available for purchase here, in hardcopy and e-book formats on Amazon, or in hardcopy by order through your favorite book seller.


If you're interested in how I became myself.... 

"Becoming My S.E.L.F."

"My big dream is to improve the treatment of children in America, and I achieve my dream by helping YOU."

These words begin my chapter in Living the INNERGIZED Life — Transforming Ordinary Moments into Extra-Ordinary Memories, a transformational anthology published in November 2017.

Learn how my personal dream gave birth to the 7 Childhood Treasures and 7 Facets of Team Success -- tools to make your life better -- as I experienced three "ordinary" life moments that led to three extra-ordinary outcomes.

"First I saw the nature of God, then the origins of human potential, and finally my own healing soul."

Purchase now, or in hardcopy or ebook format online at Amazon:

Sign up for my email list and follow me at, so you don't miss upcoming special offers to receive my chapter as a free PDF download! 

INNERGIZED Life CoverLiving the INNERGIZED Life also includes stories by other women who have found a way to transcend trauma, drama, or just the plain old craziness of day-to-day living, choosing to navigate life by connecting to what they define as their Higher Power, Inner Knowing, or God-Source. This inner guidance system, uniquely defined by each woman, is revealed as her source of undeniable INNER ENERGY… allowing her to function at a much higher, INNERGIZED level on a daily basis.

In my chapter, "Becoming My S.E.L.F.," I advise you to "Drop the magnifying lens of personal transformation in favor of a kaleidoscope. After you see your life through the colorful lens of your first seven years, you will see a different you." You will read how I discovered that "knowing how an infant learns to trust, you better understand how stronger trust can fortify your marriage," and "when you understand how toddlers find healthy boundaries, you strengthen your own independence."

I offer you some snapshots of points along the journey I took to become my S.E.L.F. -- Self-governed, Ego-aware, Leading my life, and Free of self-imposed barriers -- and encourage you to become more of your S.E.L.F., too. 



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Dr. L. Carol Scott.

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